Derek Watmough Profile

spiritual awakening in 2015 forever changed how I understood myself and my true nature. Prior to this event, in my egoic state of consciousness, I would have described myself (if I was being honest) by words such as limited, unsure, fearful, or anxious and that I really didn’t know who I was other than by these glimpses of how I perceived life and myself.

The truth is, I only knew myself by words and associations, many of them negative, except when my ego fabricated over-inflated self-concepts to alleviate my internal insecurities.

After my awakening, however, I began to understand that I was not at all who I thought I was. To try to describe our individual qualities is fine—because we all have them—but they are not representative of our True Self. I could still say to this day that I am generally quiet, certainly focused, caring about the future of humanity, and more, but these are subjective evaluations and the ego can always hijack the control of our perspective and put a negative tilt to them.

The surface-level is the realm of the ego and the ego gets description-happy because it is based in separation and so is predisposed to observe. It is also more than willing to “report” because its nature is critical—it finds its life-energy of identity through comparison.

Now that I know the true depths of my Self, however, I am immersed in something more experiential than that which is easily described by words. But I feel like this: infinite, eternal, powerful, formless, peaceful, joyful. And when such qualities are known as our true nature, all other descriptions tend to fall away. That is the tendency of consciousness, to abandon words for Being.